


How Light Carries On Endlessly Even After Death

by piper__b



Category: 9-1-1, 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Buck adopts Chris as his own, Buck gains custody of Chris, Car Accidents, Chris calls Buck Papa, Crying, Established Relationship, Funerals, Gen, Lots of it, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, i think you get the jist of it, just some wholesome angst and fluff towards the end, they learn to move on together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27295732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piper__b/pseuds/piper__b
Summary: He notices the grim expressions on both his teacher and Carla’s faces. Chris knows that face.That was the face his dad wore before telling him his mom had died. That was the face his dad wore when he told him his Bucky wouldn’t be around for a bit because of grown up issues.But this had another darkness to it.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz & Carla Price, Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Judd Ryder & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz
Comments: 11
Kudos: 137





	How Light Carries On Endlessly Even After Death

Christopher had been at school when Bucky and Eddie got into the crash. Chris was happily doing his work when Carla came into the room with his teacher that had stepped out.

“Chris, sweetheart, could you grab your stuff and go with Carla?” Ms.Flores asks and Chris nods, collecting his papers and school bag. He notices the grim expressions on both his teacher and Carla’s faces. Chris knows that face.

That was the face his dad wore before telling him his mom had died. That was the face his dad wore when he told him his Bucky wouldn’t be around for a bit because of grown up issues.

But this had another darkness to it. 

Chris follows Carla out to her car and he sits in his seat like a good kid and watches Carla.

“Carla. What happened?” Chris asks and Carla lets out a sigh.

“Your dad and Bucky got into a car crash, buddy,” Carla says and Chris feels things freeze around him. 

“Are they okay?” He asks gently, not sure if he’s ready to hear the answer

“I don’t know, buddy,” Carla replies and looks at him in the rear view mirror. Chris feels no stomach drop to the floor as Carla drives towards the hospital.

They get there and Chris sees the 118 sitting in the waiting room chairs. Hen and Chimney smile at Chris as he crawls into a chair next to May. May gently holds Chris’s hand at his prompting and he feels comforted by the touch. 

He sits there and listens to the other people talk, but he doesn’t grasp any of it. He didn’t feel like this when his dad told him about mom. I mean, yeah, he was broken up about it, but he still had his dad in the end and then he gained Bucky, but now at the chance that that could all go away like his mother, makes Chris sick.

Chris thinks back to a few nights ago, probably over two weeks. He was supposed to be sleeping, but woke up parched. He went to get a glass of water when he over heard his dad and Bucky talking. 

“Eddie, you don’t want me.”

“Yes, I do, Buck. Why do you think I follow your ass everywhere to make sure you’re safe? Why do you think I’ve introduced you into Christopher’s life so quickly? I’ve never felt this way for anyone, Buck. Something about you and your dumbass just reels me in and I’ve been stuck.”

“Eddie...”

“Don’t ‘Eddie...’ me, Evan Buckley. I want you to be boyfriend, now will you?”

*sniffles* “Yeah. Yeah, I will.”

Christopher had smiled and went back to bed in peace and the next morning, he saw Buck kiss Eddie the next morning in the kitchen and even though Chris was glad they got their heads out of their butts, as his dad would say, it was still gross.

“Bobby Nash?” A nurses asks and that’s when Chris looks up at the nurse. Her and Bobby talk for a bit before Bobby waves to Maddie. She gets up and Chris follows. He wants to see his Bucky.

“Are you going to see Bucky?” Chris asks and Maddie nods, smiling with tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, Chris, you wanna come?” She asks and Chris nods. He follows behind her, Bobby leading the way.

“This must be Christopher, Buck’s son,” the nurse says and Chris smiles proudly. He is Buck’s son and Buck is his dad.

“Like, actual son?” Maddie asks and the nurse nods.

“Yeah, we got papers a couple days ago about the legal adoption when he started dating Mr.Diaz,” she says and Maddie looks to Bobby then at Chris.

“They told me not to tel because they wanted it to be a surprise,” Chris says and he looks into the room. He sees Buck laying in the bed and pushed past his aunt and grandpa. He gets to the side of the bed and crawls into the chair next to his left side. 

Chris can see bandages and tubes going into Buck and Chris does what he’s seen his father do whenever he was in the hospital; he holds his hand.

——————

Chris doesn’t know how much time has passed before Carla is running into the room.

“Chris, you need to come with me,” her tone is urgent and it doesn’t sit well with Christopher. He follows Carla down the long hallways until he sees his dad. He’s not looking very good and it makes Chris feel all the worse. 

Carla takes him in and sets him on the bed before leaving the room.

“Hey, buddy,” Eddie whispers and Chris smiles.

“Hi, dad,” he replies, but notices that his dad’s eye loss are fluttering. “The team found out about the adopting papers.” Eddie nods with a slight cough.

“I guessed.” Eddie smiles at him and Chris has a sense that something is going to be very wrong here soon.

“Buddy, I want you and Bucky to take care of each other, okay?” Eddie asks and gulps. Chris knows this talk. 

“No! Dad are you leaving?!” Chris demands, tears filling his eyes at even the thought. Eddie gives him sad eyes and Chris feels his heart stop. He’s going to lose his dad just like his mom. He starts crying and Eddie pulls Chris into his arms. Chris lays there against Eddie, hearing his breathing and heart beat. 

“I love you, kiddo. Take care of yourself and papa for me.”

Within the next few moments, the room becomes awfully quiet as a long beep fills it.

Doctors come and go and Bobby at one point took Chris from the room. He might be screaming crying and by the faces of the other’s, he’s guessing that’s what happening.

The team wants him to go home, but he just wants his Bucky, his papa. He wants the last person who could make him feels better right now.

——————

When Buck does wake up a few hours later, he can feel the small body shaking in his grip.

“Christopher?” Buck asks, voice thick and groggy.

“Papa!” Chris cries as he sits up, looking all over Buck. He can see the man liking him over and his won face darkens too. “Please don’t leave me, papa! Don’t leave like dad did!” Chris cries and Buck pulls Chris closer to him. Chris cries harder then.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Papa’s not leaving you,” Buck assures and Chris sniffles loudly, gripping onto Buck’s gown as if that could bring him any closer than he already was.

——————

Eddie’s parents arrived three days after the crash and Eddie’s death. They didn’t look any better than Buck or Chris did.

Social Services arrived the same time they did. 

It was pretty quiet when Helena and Ramon walked into Buck’s room. Buck didn’t stop rubbing Chris’ back or kissing his head or assuring him that Buck wasn’t going anywhere.

“Mr. Evan Buckley?” A kind looking woman asks and Chris looks at her. He hopes she doesn’t take him away from Buck. He wants to stay with Buck. 

“Yes?” He asks and the woman smiles at him. Then she turns to grandma and grandpa.

“You two must be Helena and Ramon Diaz?” She asks and Chris nods with them. Then she turns to Chris. “Hey, buddy,” her voice is soft and Chris hears the pity in it. She turns to Buck, Helena and Ramon again.

“So, almost a week ago, Mr. Diaz and Mr.Buckley brought in adoption papers for Chris. Buck is technically Christopher’s guardian next in line to take care of him.” Chris smiles at that and buried his face into Buck’s chest. Buck runs his fingers through his hair.

“But shouldn’t he come with us? He clearly can’t be around him mourning, it would affect him too much,” Helena says, “and we don’t know how long it’ll take him to recover enough to take care of him-“

Most of the rest of the conversation is blocked out as Chris ponders the possibility of leaving Buck. He couldn’t. He saw what it did after the tsunami and Chris was taken from Buck. Now losing Eddie? The fallout would be catastrophic.

“No,” Chris whimpers out. The four adults look at him.

“Christopher-“ his grandmother starts, but he shakes his head.

“Papa and I need each other,” he whispers. “I need him.” He feels Buck’s breath stutter in his chest repeatedly and looks up at Buck. He’s crying. Chris reaches a hand up and wipes his tears just like he saw Eddie do multiple times when they didn’t realize he was there.

Buck sniffles.

“We’ll be okay, kid.”

——————

Chris walks up the steps to the house, smiling as he sees the familiar black Jeep parked in the driveway. Carla unlocks the door and leads him into the house.

Chris hasn’t been in this house since a a couple weeks ago. Carla had grabbed some clothes and he showered at Athena and Bobby’s, not yet ready to head back to the place he lived with his dad for nearly three years.

Buck and him were leaving town for a bit, going back to Texas. His dad’s funeral was soon and Chris doesn’t know if he’ll be ready to see his family broken like that. 

He walks into the doorway and looks over. There’s a picture on the table by the door. It’s him and Buck. He chuckles gently, smiling at the photo.

He hears a small sob from one of the rooms and goes towards it. Buck’s sitting on their bed, crying gently as he stares at a photo.of them all on Halloween two years ago. Chris sits next to Buck and holds his hand. Buck smiles at Chris, but it doesn’t quiet reach what it used to. And Chris doesn’t expect it too.

He goes to his won room next. He remembers all the mornings he spent getting ready before his dad came into the room to smile at him. He sees all the books they’ve read together, whether just Eddie and Chris, or Eddie, Buck and Chris. 

He misses those nights and as he grabs a Harry Potter book, he sits down and looks at the cover. So many nights were spent in this bed, just them. 

Chris looks at the different drawings and pictures around the room. He sighs gently as he settles in his twin bed. How the three of them fit never did register to Chris’ mind, just that they fit together well.

——————

The funeral was a mess. A complete and utter mess. Everyone was crying and grieving. He wasn’t expecting anyone other than family here, but when a team of firefighter showed up, the 126, Chris smiles sadly at them.

Judd and Carlos were among the team. 

“Papa,” he says and Buck looks at him.

“Yes, buddy?” He asks.

“There’s some of dad’s friends,” Chris points to the odd looking team and Buck smiles.

“You wanna introduce them to me?” He asks and Chris smiles.

“I only know two of them, but yeah, c’mon,” Chris says and leads the way.

“Christopher?” Carlos asks gently.

“Hi, Carlos,” he replies and opens his arms. The older man hugs the small kid, closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry about your dad, kiddo,” Carlos whispers and Chris shrugs softly.

“At least I still have my papa, Buck,” Chris says as they separate. Buck is smiling fondly at them and Carlos extends a hand.

“Hi, I’m Carlos Reyes, I’m a cop for the APD. I was friends with Eddie when he lived here in Texas,” Carlos introduces and Chris smiles.

“Hi, I’m Evan Buckley, but I go by Buck. I am, or was, Eddie’s boyfriend and coworker,” he says and Carlos smiles. 

“I’m glad to hear he found love after Shannon,” Carlos say and Buck nods.

“There’s the little man,” a Texas drawl says and Chris turns around. Judd is standing with a few other men and women and Chris smiles. Chris opens his arms to Judd and hugs him close.

“Judd, this is my papa, Buck,” Chris says as he’s put down. Judd smiles warmly at Buck.

“Judd Ryder.”

“Evan Buckley, but you can call me Buck.” Chris smiles at them all.

“He’s my papa,” Chris tells Carlos and Judd again, because he needs them to know even if he told them already. 

Judd smiles and claps Buck’s shoulder.

“Welcome to the family, brother. You ever need anything, come to the 126 station in Austin.” 

Chris saw the tears welling up in Buck’s eyes as he nodded. Judd hugs him and Chris smiles. 

Then they’re calling people to their seats and Chris blocks the rest out as he focuses on his papa.

——————

It’s been about a year since Eddie died. Chris is starting middle school and Buck is right by his side. Him and Buck weren’t in Los Angeles for a few months after his death, mainly staying in Texas before coming back.

Buck moved out of his apartment fully and into their house, the one they shared with Eddie. It was hard, trying to live in a space that they once shared, but Chris was getting through it. 

The 118 was constantly checking in on them, making sure they had what they needed. Most night, Buck and Chris slept together in the king size bed that Eddie and Buck slept in most of the time. 

Chris isn’t going to lie. This was much harder than losing his mom. Everyday when he wakes, he waits for Eddie to walk into his room, their bed head looking almost similar, but he never does. 

For a while there, Buck could barely look at him and Chris doesn’t blame him. Though he looks a lot more like Buck, he still has some of his dad’s defining features.

Now, on his first day of sixth grade, he can imagine Eddie standing next to Buck at his Jeep. They’re both smiling and at that moment he realizes that Eddie has been in his room in the mornings. He just couldn’t see him.

As Chris sits in his new class, he can feel the pride and happiness that radiates off his dad’s. Whether they both were alive, or only one, he knew they both were proud.

And that is Christopher’s sole reason that he continues to get up each morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up at my tumblr and scream with me about Buddie:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/pipermarieb
> 
> Also, chapter title: Saturn by Sleeping At Last


End file.
